Crying at the Happy Ending

“Crying at the Happy Ending” is an article by psychoanalyst Joseph Weiss (1952), popularized in Michael Bader’s 2014 article on Psychology Today. Its a powerful piece that explores why, even in the context of watching a movie, we often wait until a resolution to let ourselves feel—and cry.

The core idea is:

• During the tension or crisis, our nervous system is in survival mode—fight, flight, freeze—so we suppress emotions to stay focused and safe.
• Once the conflict resolves, we subconsciously perceive safety, and emotions we’ve been holding back—sadness, relief—can finally surface. That release often comes as tears at the happy ending.

Studies and later commentary support this “safety-signal” theory. A neuroscientific review explains that safety signals—learned cues predicting the absence of threat—actively inhibit fear and stress responses in humans and animals. In conditions like PTSD, this safety learning is often impaired, making it difficult to shift out of fear mode (Hamm & Jentsch, 2012).

This idea of emotional release being tied to a sense of safety? It’s not just emotional—it’s physiological. Let’s talk nervous system…

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The Body Keeps the Score

As Bessel van der Kolk wrote in The Body Keeps the Score, trauma and chronic stress don’t just live in the mind. They live in the body.

Muscles clench. Breathing gets shallow. The gut stops working smoothly.
We might “move on” intellectually, but the body hasn’t gotten the memo.
Why? Because safety isn’t an idea. It’s a felt experience.

And until the body believes it’s safe, it won’t let go—of tension, pain, or emotion.

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This Is the Core of My Work

In my opinion, my #1 priority in the clinic is to create space for my patients to experience a parasympathetic, relaxed sense of safety.

I will often tell my patients, “I take all snoring and drooling as compliments”. And many patients do fall asleep during massage, acupuncture, or cupping treatments.

Sometimes my patients feel more comfortable talking about their lives rather than hitting snooze, and I think that can be helpful as well. The combination of nervous system ease, physical comfort, and open conversation creates a potent cocktail for healing—one that includes both mind and body.

When things get complicated, I return to what I believe is most essential in healing—and in both my personal and professional experience, safety is key.